Grateful for History

I am one of those incredibly lucky people who has had the same best friends since practically forever. And by forever I mean junior high. I met Jenn (who was my maid of honour at my wedding six years ago) on the first day of grade seven. She came right up to me (not shy my Jenn...) and told me she had the same shirt I was wearing. We've been friends ever since. (I still totally remember the shirt too. It was a cream coloured blouse with a vest attached. Made of rayon. My mother hated it.)  Kerry was Jenn's friend from elementary school and she and I didn't really become friends until grade nine when we ended up in a hotel room together on a band trip.

I have so many memories with these girls and on Saturday night I was lucky enough to make more. We all went out for supper together with our husbands. (It sounds so weird to say that, Kerry only got married about a month ago and this is my first time we've all gotten together since they got married.) We don't see each other nearly as often as any of us would like, but when we do get together there are never gaps in conversation and we laugh harder than should be possible. (I have to admit the conversations were a lot different with the guys around though!)

These girls were there for me when my brother was diagnosed with cancer and they were there by my side when I said "I do." I am so grateful to have them in my life. Our lives are all so different but we can always make time for each other. We decided this weekend to plan our first ever girls weekend away and I couldn't be more excited. I can't imagine a life without them in it - they remind me of who I am, and they made me who I am too.

Grateful

On Saturday, February 7th J decided to go skiing as a reward for himself after the 20 hours of overtime he had put in. 

At 12:17 that I was on my way home from work when he called. 

"You're going to kill me," was the first thing he said to me. 

He had wiped out on his first run down the hill. Ski patrol had gotten him down the hill, and he was waiting for an ambulance to get there. 

The first responders were pretty sure he had a break in his lower leg. 

I managed to drive myself to my parents' place and then had my dad drive me to the hospital. 

X-Rays confirmed it, J's leg was indeed broken. And not just a little broken. He had a spiral fracture is his tibia and a break in his fibula. The X-ray technician told him it was a "doozy" and everyone who's seen the X-ray since has made a similar comment. 

Post-surgery x-ray. You can see the rod & pins. 

We were transferred to Halifax later that evening for more X-rays and to wait for surgery. J eventually had surgery on Monday afternoon. He had a rod inserted with pins at the knee and ankle. (Gross.) He was released the next day and we started the rehabilitation process, plus the process of applying for EI since he'll be off work for several months. 

It's been quite the struggle. I'm not used to doing everything around the house plus everything for J plus working full-time. The first couple weeks I spent A LOT of time crying and a lot of time praying for strength. 

And you know what? Things are getting better. Slowly, but I'm starting to feel like we're going to make it. My head is above water, I'm getting enough sleep, J is impressing the physiotherapist, and Daisy and I are doing lots of bonding on our daily walks. 

Daisy and I enjoying our evening walk.

When I start getting stressed or overwhelmed I remind myself how much worse it could have been. I could have lost J that day. Or he could have permanently damaged himself. And I am so grateful to still have him by my side. (Even when he's complaining about how bored he is.) I think I've been guilty of taking my husband for granted. Not just all the things he does, but his strength and his presence. Those couple nights without him in the bed beside me were really, really hard. There are a lot of lessons in this situation - and some are easier to take than others - but I'm also grateful for every one of them. 

PS: This was very long, and very ramble-y. Ooops. 

Grateful for my Husband

On Friday J and I will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary.

Five years seems crazy, I don't know where the time has gone.

We're heading camping this weekend to celebrate. For our first couple anniversaries we went to a nice restaurant downtown, but last year we decided to get away from the city and away from our cell phones and the TV and spend some time together, just us. It was amazing. It was easily one of my favourite memories of our marriage. We relaxed. We walked. We laid on the beach. We sat by the fire. And we talked. We talked a lot. More than we had talked in months. It was our own personal marriage retreat, and we needed it. We came back home feeling closer and more in love than ever. I'm so excited to be able to do the same thing again this year.

I am so thankful to have had this man by side. We've gone through some ups and downs, but I have never doubted his love for me or mine for him. We have grown so much together, and I really can't wait to see what the next five years bring.

Grateful for Mom & Dad

One of the reasons we bought our house was that it's less than a ten minute drive from my parents. (Some people would consider it walking distance, but I am not one of those people.) The older I've gotten the closer I've gotten to both of my parents. Growing up I always considered myself a "daddy's girl," and I definitely still am to some extent, but the older I get the more I rely on my mom.  

 

 

Aren't my folks super cute? This was taken on their most recent trip to Cuba.

 

I got to spend a fair bit of time with my parents this past week (we actually just got home from having supper with them!) and it got me thinking about how fortunate I am to not only still have both of my parents, but to live close to them and have a great relationship with them. That's what I am really feeling grateful for today - what about you? 

Grateful for In-Laws

This week J and I spent a lot of time with his family since his sister was home visiting for the first time in over a year. My relationship with my mother-in-law got off to a rocky start, but this week reminded me of how thankful I am that we have a good relationship now. I don't think I'll ever be as close with her as I am with my own mother, but I think that's pretty normal.

I am very fortunate to have married into this family. J's brothers and sister are all really wonderful (and really different!) people. There is so much laughter when the whole family gets together, and hours pass without anyone realizing it because the conversation flows so easily.

I have friends who don't speak to their spouse's parents or siblings, or who have very strained relationships with them. You hear so many "in-law" horror stories, but that hasn't been my experience at all. I am so grateful that it's as easy to spend time with J's family as it is to spend time with my family. (Though the conversations are pretty different!)



{ Photo by Tammy Orr }

For both mom's this year we arranged family portraits as a mother's day gift. On Friday night we did our shoot with J's family. Four of his six siblings were able to be here, along with their significant others. (Two married couples and two engaged couples.) We used the photographer J and I always use and we had a fantastic time. It was probably one of the best parts of our vacation.

Have a great week, and remember to take a moment to remember something you're grateful for. :-)

PS: Live in the Halifax area and need some pictures done? Tammy is very easy to work with and she does an amazing job. You can check her website out here, or check her out on Facebook.

Grateful Heart Monday

Today what I am most grateful for is vacation. I know that it sounds kind of silly, but I love being able to take a week off and recharge my batteries. J and I can't really afford to travel, so we've decided to spend some time exploring Nova Scotia.



J and I out whale watching in Lunenburg earlier today.

I'm also grateful for living so close to the ocean - there is nothing like the small of the salt in the air! And I'm so grateful that J and I were both able to find good jobs here in Nova Scotia so that we don't have to move out west like so many others. J would definitely make more money in another province, but with both of our families here it's just not worth it to us. We'd rather pick away at our debt slowly and be able to spend time with the people we love. There's nothing wrong with packing up and moving away, it just wasn't the right choice for us.

What are you grateful for today?

He asked, she said Yes!

Last Wednesday was the 10th anniversary of my younger brother's leukemia diagnosis and I wrote about how grateful I was for his health. (You can read it here.)

My brother & I in 1987

This week I'm pretty freaking excited to announce that I am grateful for my new sister-in-law to be!

We've always "celebrated" Jon's cancer-versary. We give him little presents, and he usually gets pretty drunk with his friends. This year he told his girlfriend, Nickie, he wanted to celebrate the night by getting a hotel room and having a really nice dinner out. Well, they did that, but before they left the room for dinner he got down on one knee, told her he wanted to stop celebrating the worst day of his life and start celebrating the best. He pulled out a (beautiful!) ring and asked her to marry him.

She said yes.

The idea of my little brother getting married makes me feel old, but the fact that he is still around and healthy and thinking about the future... I can't even put in to words how grateful I am for that.

Cancer-versary

Ten years ago today my life changed forever when my little brother was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia.

 

This (extremely blurry) picture of me, my brother and my mom was taken on May 14th, 2004 after my graduation from MSVU. What you can't see in this picture is that my brother's skin has taken on a bit of a yellowish tinge and that he has huge bags under his eyes despite sleeping all the time. My parents think the jaundice is from too much time in his basement bedroom and that the bags are from being up playing video games and not sleeping enough. To this day my mother still hates herself for that.

 

A few days later when the my brother's skin has turned even more yellow my mom decides to try to get him a doctor's appointment. Our family doctor had retired several years earlier, but we were always very healthy so it didn't matter. She managed to get him in to a clinic down the street from our house on Friday, May 21st at lunch time. The plan was that he would go to school in the morning, go to his appointment, and be back at school for his afternoon classes.  

 

Things did not go as planned.

 

The doctor took a quick look at Jon, asked him a few questions, and sent him off to get blood work done immediately. At this point my mom called my dad who left work to meet them. I was still at home, playing around on the computer, unaware that anything unusual was going on.

 

I was a great big sister...

Shortly after they took Jon's blood a doctor told my parents they were transferring him to the hospital - by ambulance. No one would tell my parents what exactly was going on, only that they needed to get him to the hospital as soon as possible. At this point my dad called me at home to tell me what was going on, and that he would be there shortly to pick me up.

I was supposed to work that night and I can remember calling my boss and trying so hard not to start sobbing. She was wonderful, she even made sure someone was coming to get me so I wouldn't have to drive myself to the hospital. In the end she was one of the first people who knew, I was supposed to work at 7am the next day as well and had to call and explain why I wouldn't be there.

The hospital is a blur for me.

The doctor on-call in the emergency room was a hematologist who knew exactly what we were dealing with as soon as my brother's test results came in. He had more blood drawn and other extremely painful tests before we were given the official word.

 

Mom and I had just gotten back from a quick coffee run when we were called in to the little curtained examining room.

 

It was cancer.

My heart stopped. I didn't cry.

I didn't do anything except stand there in stunned disbelief.

This was my baby brother. 

My only brother.

Was he going to die?

 

His treatments started right away, even though it was the long weekend.

 

Christmas 2004 - Jon is in the middle of treatments.

He was so brave. The nurses loved him. Because he was 17 they let him choose whether he wanted to stay at the children's hospital or the adult hospital. My brother has never been a lover of kids so he chose they adult hospital. He was the youngest person on his floor and kept a positive attitude throughout his whole treatment.

 

I know that most cancer stories don't end the same way my brother's does. He went into remission nearly immediately. He currently doesn't take any medication and no longer meets with his oncologist. He is working a full-time job in his field of study and is dating a wonderful young woman. Looking at him today you'd never know how sick he was 10 years ago.

 

In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday, in others it feels like a lifetime.

 

I am so grateful to have my brother here with me, healthy and happy.